Wednesday, March 30, 2011

[eight] Come Back.

This was supposed to be a thank you letter, but I changed it for my own purposes.  I wrote this last night while I was in a rather melancholy and reflective mood.  A hard mood to explain, but mostly, I just felt like Winnie the Pooh, as shall be explained in my letter/poem.  It isn't to anyone in particular...I had about five different people in mind as I wrote it, and all my thoughts about different things came out in different places...thoughts about change and friendships and such.  Tell me what you think, hmm?

-8: a letter to someone who has changed your life-


come back.

hi.
that is (or that is,) a very small hi.
a hi that says a lot more than just “hi.”
it says:
i miss you.
why has it been so long?
why do you not talk to me?
do you not want to see me?
are you trying to avoid me?
i fear that i’m not as important to you
as you are to me.
because you are.
extremely.
but i don’t want to feel that you’re slipping off
into another phase of life.
what happened to all the things we had in common?
i feel like they are gone.
i feel like i don’t know you anymore,
and what’s worse—
i’m not sure you care to know me.
but i love you.
extremely.
in massive proportions.
and i want to be with you
instead of watching you take a different path,
a path away from me.
do you tell someone else your secrets now?
do i still hold your heart?
or have you forgotten me all that easily?
am i left standing here on the road,
dust stinging my eyes as you drive away?
come back!
please come back to me!
this hurts so deeply
and i’m not even sure what or why.
all i can say is:
don’t leave me here
to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart alone.
without you.
i don’t want to lose you.
not in this way.
not now.
and yet each day it seems more and more inevitable.
and i’m stuck here,
felling like winnie the pooh—
“think think, think think”
“oh bother”—
only pooh has no piglet to give him a hug right now
and whisper:
“it’s alright.”
should i give it up?
give you up?
but i can’t,
even though i feel as if i’m no longer important,
like someone else has taken my place,
like it’s been too long
and we’ve grown too distant to start again.
there’s a teasing wind that blows,
whispering your name in my ear,
taunting me,
trying to make me believe that it is—
that you are—
a lost cause.
i dislike this.
extremely.
it makes me melancholy and contemplative,
but i don’t even know the reason.
maybe i’m wrong.
won’t you tell me i’m wrong?
that you do care and i’m a silly doubter?
that i’m important and loved too?
that’s all i want.
and maybe it’s true.
but right now,
on this confusing, dark, deep, thoughtful night,
i feel lonely.
i feel alone.
without you.
please come give me a hug
and tell me it’ll all be okay after all?
because tonight,
i doubt, i wonder,
and i just want you back here,
with me.

2 comments:

  1. Winnie the Pooh is such a sad and yet happy book. Cristopher Robin growing up and going off to school is such an emotional thing for me. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is so sad yet beautiful. It reminds me of a poem.

    ~Julia

    ReplyDelete

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