So here's the thing. The thing that has more or less been slapping me in the face for a rather small but nonetheless significant amount of time.
Let me back up. Have you ever taken one of those tell-all personality tests? I'm an ESFP. Extroverted. Sensing. Feeling. Perceiving. And while the picture those four letters paint of me can be a bit extreme, in most cases, it's pretty accurate.
In a nutshell? ESFPs love people. check. They're engaging and outgoing. check. They have lots of friends and are good at making them. check. They love to entertain people/make them happy/make them laugh/be funny/be liked. Uhmm...check.
See (and I'm going to have a minor
But. Downfalls of ESFPs: they live for the moment. They like to be the center of attention. They care a little too much about other people liking them. And while I'm not an extreme attention hog (I hope), it's true. I really like people to think I'm funny, sometimes to a degree where I'll take my humor a bit too far.
Now back to this part: I'm sarcastic.
In all honesty, sarcasm is like my sixth love language. It's what I do with my friends. Generally, people know me well enough, and it's okay. But every once in awhile, I lose sight of the fact that not everyone has the same sense of humor as me. I get caught up in the moment (I'm cringing...that's not a fun thing to admit) and forget to be sensitive. Not that I just go and make jokes at the expense of others', but...if you can't read me well enough, that's what it can come across as.
I have had several instances recently where this has been pointed out to me, and since then there have been several instances where I've really and truly focused on toning down my sarcasm. Not eliminating my sense of humor, because that would be like...killing a part of myself (ha. but no really.). But just making sure it's genuinely funny and doesn't have the potential to tear someone down. Sincere instead of sarcastic. And you know what? I have had some of the nicest conversations because of that.
So yeah. There's a little outtake from the growing personality and person that is me. It's a process, but I'm learning more everyday.
ps--so I have this friend Megan, who you may recognize from here and here (she was Harriet in the Emma play). She's the sweetest thing, but you know what I love? she gets my sarcasm. she just gets my humor, period. and that's something I really appreciate from time to time when I need to take it out on someone (kidding, kidding). anyway, she's now blogging over at Bucket List Worthy (ohh, bucket lists--you know a favorite topic of mine)! she's just starting out, but maybe you'd go give her a follow and some comment love? you can tell her I sent ya. ;)
pps--all photos in this post done my marvelous direction-taking brother Grant. love you, kid.